squeeze my heart till the funk comes out my head..

every person in society has a prefixed motion and nature of perception..
from the moment you are born your social environment fixes you..
brainwashed little kids grow up to be mean industry machines..
it all comes to mind when your in your early 20's maybe even later..
when you desperately try to find who you are and "the meaning" of life..
its like a plague these days..it keeps spreading..
how can you know who you are when all these years u have been thumb sucked to the system?

scholars say that in order to find your inner self you must acknowledge whats around you..
become critical of the world and try to figure what works best for you..
i say stop searching..its not out there..stop thinking about what the world is thinking..
its all in you..let the chips fall where they may..
do the stuff you wanted when you were a kid and you couldn't..
go to your lover and say 'i love you'..but mean it..
try to feel free to express yourself..
i don't know the answers or the way to that..for you..
i have found myself its time you have also..

p.s Quiz: who likes free donuts?
ps2 i began writing this post listening to lz but instead put the 1st sentence as a title.
i know it doesn't make sense with the rest but i liked it.

Bored.

Gooood morning Vietnam.

Start of the new semester and am oh so excited..
Getting ready to be bored to extinction..
Oh no, you see i started this post thinking about the best things..
and now because of you its ruined... ( boring classes ).

last night i drove to my dream destination..
i was in Graceland..
i have no inspiration..
ill put on my music and sleep for 5 minutes..

again good morning.

music makes me blue.

i wish i could describe the feelings that music gives to me..
every song and every melody touches my brain..
some bring me happiness some bring me pain and misery..
the important thing is that they are all..
images and sounds of spontaneous and momentary reflexions of your mind..
every time you listen to the same song you grasp it differently..
be it your desires, your emotions or your mood..

in the beginning there was the calm..
the frustrations and actions..
which led to zeppelins above..
every sound marks an occasion..
and every thought marks the beginning of the end..

evil diary no1.

last night i had a nightmare..
i haven't had a nightmare since i was a kid..
since i actually cared about something..
i cared about friends, lollipops and killing pixel men..

i did something terrible to a person i care..
it wasn't that terrible but i felt bad..
she run away i chased her through holes..
falling to despair i asked for forgiveness..
but she disappeared with wings eternal..

i woke up..thinking about holding my arms..
i was worried at first..but then i smiled..
my door was closed..but you found it..
and now am happy...

For Johnny

this one's for you johnny..

beat your head against a wall..
and knock some sense into your mind..
wake up and face the day..
dont crawl beneath the waves..
stand up and walk..

08 archives

proggression.

everybody's there but you don't seem to care..
lost withing your little dream your eyes are caught to glare..
people run around and pass before you can be found..
they pest the world that they surround..

sometimes its free to think that your alone..
yet somewhere else someone yearns for your attention..

i woke up this morning amidst the clouds and the cold..
only to found i had been wrong all along..
time alone i don't need more..
to hold my arms aside and squeeze my only dream..
she brings a smile upon my face..
i never want to leave her place..
and i can only think of..

sleep...prog

little girl you wander through my thoughts.

i have three pots on my desk..
liquid is running amongst them three...
like an old pretty melody..
sounds are wasted in our minds..
have you ever noticed the treasures of the silence..
little girl walks by with steps oh down so high..
one again her feet shall step and stone there fall it will be left..
she sees the pots along my desk..
and wonders where she is and asks the rest..
they don't appear and shes alone..
like wicked eyes she glares at them..
and looks at me and ponders yet..
"what this i take oh great big man"..
"can i acquire a pot for one?"..
i try and think to what avail will she become..
so small and evil i lost my sight..
it fears me so and i hold tight..
i take another look and shes again there...
glazing upon my eyes her face is snowy white..
her eyes are different..yet colorless both..
everything is my fault..
for opening the gate...and caught this soul with all its might..
she settles and sits within one pot..
happy she seems with smile in her sandy face..
she will be my companion in the nights..
when cold and lonely roads outside are too harsh..
and bitter drinks cant blow away old memories..
i love her for that and that i swear..
that old girl shes my pot friend..
growing up inside of me i take her smile and bring her color in her eyes..
we are together and this is not the end..
because time will come for me and you..
and light again shall turn to blue..
the moon will fade and we shall kiss..
and small fireflies will reign the sky..
these words i will not hear tonight..

...2

this is the last night..
where we belong..
like a sad bastard song..
yesterday i was laughing..
today am left alone again alone..
every person in my mind gives and takes..
happiness in a smile..
like we once were..
then you said goodbye..