extreme evolution

People evolve.
They update themselves each day.
They buy new, better clothes, shoes, they scrap their old ones, start again and so on.
You get older, you think more, you become cynical.
The world is losing you, no your losing it (world).
Everything changer but in a precise moment we are all amalgamations of the universe.

-When i was younger I'd never stop and think.
I thought everyone else did it for me, that am a vulgar boy and they are my priests of innocence.
That is not true.
Nobody , no one is ever going to care.
Everyone is in it for their cause.
Faith isn't here anymore.Am sick
I want to leave. No more.
Am not there.

Chapter 2.

He starts walking back to the car when notices (he) its quiet.
Not even the buzzer sound of a darkly bug.Nothing's here anymore.

"Where am I?"

Its an abyss, everything vanishes.
Its dark white and beneath yellow.
Its moving, its sand, thin yellow sand.
Sleeps.Lies Down.Dreaming (HE).

Its Light.Or day.
Am wearing clothes.Yellow, Blue, Weird.
I have a cross on my neck.
I can only think of such words a brilliant writer would only feed his cat.Great.
Am alone, there's a sun. He's orange.
I can only remember the bitter taste of tobacco.My mouth is dry.Could i have some water?

When suddenly, as you wouldn't know a man appears.
Owl eyes are dazing (mine).
Old perhaps, cant tell, scarred, wears brown, torn clothes.
He seems like sprites, rectangular at the beginning.
I focus.
I can see a beard. I cant breathe. I fall.
Last thing i lose is my sound.

[to be continued]

Chapter 1.

Prologue:
..thus asking himself..is this blight of past worth fussing about?
the happy memories felt like tingling like small piano keyboards pressed ever so lightly..
maybe by that little girl with the red and white dress..
if any man should quit his past he should do with dignity..
thats how he can move on..let the hate and fear aside..
try and enjoy the music..

it was two after midnight and it was cloudy outside..
so he gathered as he couldn't make out the familiar stars that showed his sign..
he would usually make his way to the car..
this was not the first time we would step out of his room-the house on a time like this..
he would take the car and drive..he liked the feeling of being alone in a small deserted city..
thats how the city felt anyway at that time of the night..
he would glare at the lights and their reflections on his car's windshield..
each outing like tonights would take an hour..
after then he would think of something to do..something he forgot..all the technicalities..
and he'd go back..to the office and check on old files..make sure everything is right..
this night was different..he prayed that something would come and change his route..

as he was driving back to his room he saw this man standing in the middle of the road..
he looked like a bum..scrappy clothes..after getting near him..filthy long hair and yellow teeth..
he was a gypsy..a weird one for the sake of him..
the man came to his window..and gave him..a cigarette..
"i don't smoke"..
"but you do"..
he took the smoke and light it up..
he had stopped the car in the middle of this forsaken road..right at the junction..
the gypsy man opened the door and sat next to him..so naturally..without even asking..
in every man's life there come a time when something happens that changes the course of his route..the route to the end..
every man oblivious to this before would instantly understand that moment when it came..

-"Hello there.Sooo watcha doin'?"
-"So what are you the spirit of past Christmas or something?Came here to tell me about my wrecked life and how i should change my life?"
-"No.I am a gypsy who needs a good company.I walk this road every night looking for someone to talk to , but no one ever shows up.This night i found you."
-"Right."
-"Whats this about a spirit?Are you on crack or something?"
-"No.It just felt weird..the whole situation..its like a scene from a book.Forget it, its just me.Thanks for the smokes."
-"Meh.Drive.I wana show you something.Its just up ahead."

and so he drove..just up ahead he stopped..just as the gypsy said so..
they stepped out of the car and walked a bit..not many a 100 yards..
there were some trees left and right of the small pathway..and in the end a clearing..
it would turn up to the sea..and from there you could see the light of the old city..
'strange' - he thought I've never seen this place before nor knew there was a park here..
he could hear some sirens in the distance..an ambulance racing by..it was starting to rain..

-"You see every place like this means something to someone.Like everything else objects, people, animals, places can be emotionally attached to you. All there is to it is just a personal experience a binding of fate. Of course am not just telling you this just for the kicks. I was never good at narrating or trying to command attention. This place my friend can realize a fantasy of yours, change the time and space of your meaningless existence and make you vanish from this world."
-"This is very interesting, now i would like to go back home. I am tired and its raining."
-"Did you ever had a fantasy? Something you wished for? Perhaps being a hero in a far away land, or opening for Zeppelin in Woodstock? "
-"I like Zeppelin but now id rather be in my bed sleeping..although..i would wish id turn back time and relive some memories.. meh forget it..its silly..i used to write these short stories..and i got attached to this character I'd made..never finished the story tho..i would like to go back and live his story..from a first person view"
-"Its settled then..have a nice one..bye young grasshopper.."


to be continued..

[if anyone likes it that is]

lie.

....I,however can never go there.
I can never escape this world.
I can never see you again.
This is not goodbye.Its just the start of your journey.
He speaks his final words to her.
We'll meet again.
His final lie to her.

Adore.

I hate feeling like this
Am alone and tired of this
I sleep the days and all I dream about is waking up to you.
Your touch i miss and plead for the pain to go.
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you.


dedicated to Alch.

10 months gone.

wake up and hear the buzzes..
soft music glancing through the window..
its this day ive never imagined..
lazy eyes that sparkle..
see the feathers rush..
its in dream..i never thought id see your face..
and the mist shall fade away..
all shall fade away..

going to california..

the party.

Friday beckons from above..

dressed up puppets gather at the center..
holding masks they dance together..
all these people look like clowns..
reminds me of those old good times..
where u would discover new places to hang out..
its a party of the world i live outside of..

i try to get near yet they glare at me like a worn puppeteer..
i am scared..i draw back..and change my sketch..
another page amongst all inks..lets draw a place id like to be..

this one for the sun glassed afro dudes..
stop the imaginary and daydream..
if u step into the sun your boots will start to melt..
and sugar will take claim your feet..

the future is open wide..
murmur at your pictures..
stop the world and melt with your lover..
stop the feelings and rewind your beginnings..
erase your instincts and let your fruition be your vision..
believe thats its real and your shall be rewarded..
shut up and stop reading this..or shut up and focus..
and remember who you are with me..
are you quiet?are you thinking?
mm lets see what you thinking..
yes its true..
yes i agree..
you finally found it..
u dumbass..

ride the wave and shut up.

every time i start to think and write something am appalled by the interface..
of the blogger.. it pains me not to be able to write down my thoughts as the old ones did..
but i cant write..taking a pencil and writing is just too inconvenient these days..
i learned to live my life through the pc and being aloof with reality..

its been a while since the last time i had free time to write..
and most of the times i don't even right anything with sense..
just patched up thoughts of past great recollections..

and in the end there was only two..
cruelty and malice..
and malice..

spineless from the start..
searching for a clue..
abandoned all my chance..
anything i have is you..
and am scared to reborn..
starless gaze upon the form..
feels so fresh yet am so crass..
its like walking on wet glass..

ps. anyone who can find out the mistake wins ma lollipop

well i feel just like a...chid?

the world says hello and good morning and offers a fresh beginning..
reach out to the far out arm..
welcome your existence..
and i feel just like a child..
recognizing my omition..
start learning to breathe again..

blah blah u suck. Big Time.
look up cos birds are ready to drop da bomb.

but when am a child everything i say is mine and yours..
and thats the way to learn to fly..you and you alone can break my heart.

tea for one.

everything i drink is the same..
all have lost interest..
all are the same..
one day feels like eternity..
time moves so slow and silently..
yet i glare at the clock with insanity..
i am a thousand years old..
as days go by my cave crumbles..
i have to go back to the new world..

squeeze my heart till the funk comes out my head..

every person in society has a prefixed motion and nature of perception..
from the moment you are born your social environment fixes you..
brainwashed little kids grow up to be mean industry machines..
it all comes to mind when your in your early 20's maybe even later..
when you desperately try to find who you are and "the meaning" of life..
its like a plague these days..it keeps spreading..
how can you know who you are when all these years u have been thumb sucked to the system?

scholars say that in order to find your inner self you must acknowledge whats around you..
become critical of the world and try to figure what works best for you..
i say stop searching..its not out there..stop thinking about what the world is thinking..
its all in you..let the chips fall where they may..
do the stuff you wanted when you were a kid and you couldn't..
go to your lover and say 'i love you'..but mean it..
try to feel free to express yourself..
i don't know the answers or the way to that..for you..
i have found myself its time you have also..

p.s Quiz: who likes free donuts?
ps2 i began writing this post listening to lz but instead put the 1st sentence as a title.
i know it doesn't make sense with the rest but i liked it.

Bored.

Gooood morning Vietnam.

Start of the new semester and am oh so excited..
Getting ready to be bored to extinction..
Oh no, you see i started this post thinking about the best things..
and now because of you its ruined... ( boring classes ).

last night i drove to my dream destination..
i was in Graceland..
i have no inspiration..
ill put on my music and sleep for 5 minutes..

again good morning.

music makes me blue.

i wish i could describe the feelings that music gives to me..
every song and every melody touches my brain..
some bring me happiness some bring me pain and misery..
the important thing is that they are all..
images and sounds of spontaneous and momentary reflexions of your mind..
every time you listen to the same song you grasp it differently..
be it your desires, your emotions or your mood..

in the beginning there was the calm..
the frustrations and actions..
which led to zeppelins above..
every sound marks an occasion..
and every thought marks the beginning of the end..

evil diary no1.

last night i had a nightmare..
i haven't had a nightmare since i was a kid..
since i actually cared about something..
i cared about friends, lollipops and killing pixel men..

i did something terrible to a person i care..
it wasn't that terrible but i felt bad..
she run away i chased her through holes..
falling to despair i asked for forgiveness..
but she disappeared with wings eternal..

i woke up..thinking about holding my arms..
i was worried at first..but then i smiled..
my door was closed..but you found it..
and now am happy...

For Johnny

this one's for you johnny..

beat your head against a wall..
and knock some sense into your mind..
wake up and face the day..
dont crawl beneath the waves..
stand up and walk..

08 archives

proggression.

everybody's there but you don't seem to care..
lost withing your little dream your eyes are caught to glare..
people run around and pass before you can be found..
they pest the world that they surround..

sometimes its free to think that your alone..
yet somewhere else someone yearns for your attention..

i woke up this morning amidst the clouds and the cold..
only to found i had been wrong all along..
time alone i don't need more..
to hold my arms aside and squeeze my only dream..
she brings a smile upon my face..
i never want to leave her place..
and i can only think of..

sleep...prog

little girl you wander through my thoughts.

i have three pots on my desk..
liquid is running amongst them three...
like an old pretty melody..
sounds are wasted in our minds..
have you ever noticed the treasures of the silence..
little girl walks by with steps oh down so high..
one again her feet shall step and stone there fall it will be left..
she sees the pots along my desk..
and wonders where she is and asks the rest..
they don't appear and shes alone..
like wicked eyes she glares at them..
and looks at me and ponders yet..
"what this i take oh great big man"..
"can i acquire a pot for one?"..
i try and think to what avail will she become..
so small and evil i lost my sight..
it fears me so and i hold tight..
i take another look and shes again there...
glazing upon my eyes her face is snowy white..
her eyes are different..yet colorless both..
everything is my fault..
for opening the gate...and caught this soul with all its might..
she settles and sits within one pot..
happy she seems with smile in her sandy face..
she will be my companion in the nights..
when cold and lonely roads outside are too harsh..
and bitter drinks cant blow away old memories..
i love her for that and that i swear..
that old girl shes my pot friend..
growing up inside of me i take her smile and bring her color in her eyes..
we are together and this is not the end..
because time will come for me and you..
and light again shall turn to blue..
the moon will fade and we shall kiss..
and small fireflies will reign the sky..
these words i will not hear tonight..

...2

this is the last night..
where we belong..
like a sad bastard song..
yesterday i was laughing..
today am left alone again alone..
every person in my mind gives and takes..
happiness in a smile..
like we once were..
then you said goodbye..